- Will Igor hurt me?
Unlikely, when he isn't out caving, we usually chain him to the fridge and sell tickets so the public can see him. Igor is usually fairly harmless, just throw him a piece of raw meat to keep him happy.
- Will TJ eat all my bread?
Again this is usually an isolated incident, but beware after a nights drinking. If he gives you any trouble just pile on him with a few of your friends.
- What do I do if I see male transvestites?
Just ignore, its only Stevie Muh (Penelope).
- Is Jonny M really a nice bloke?
No. Do not be taken in by his cunning wiles. Johnny is actually an escaped prisoner from a government research institute into hair growth drugs.
- What do I do if I see Orla caving?
Call Cave Rescue, she has probably got lost and wandered into the cave unawares.