The new beast in the Fermanagh area (dubbed Fermanimal) was spotted in the Cladagh glen region last weekend yielding a bottle of whisky. No one knows what it was up to but luckily a confrontation was avoided and no one was hurt.
But be warned! The beast is easily aroused!
Word has reached the phantom cavers ears that a threesome was planned between two cavers and a blade from Belfast who is a stonemason over the weekend of the student caving forum. The said cavers have a history of arranging get togethers outside tv filming sets during forums. To all new freshers, you have been warned, to wear PROTECTION!
Rumour has it that some sort of wild beast, believed to be half ginger, half man, has been seen in the caving region of fermanagh. Its is known to wear black headgear, is very fond of whiskey and loves to shag sheep, not unlike the “beast” that was in Father ted.
If seen approach with caution, it loves it from behind!
Rumour has it that a well know politican, was caught in an uncomprising position in the hoo. His excuse for having the girl’s head between his legs was “she was fixing the zip on my trousers”.
Rumour has it that a local caver is taking the Oz bar scene by storm, riding in on the back of a kangaroo, wooing the barmaids, telling the locals very tall tales and then drinking them all under the table, glad to see someone is doing us proud down under